My dear friend, Depression!

So...
I am aware I have been quiet for some time. I have been busy in a battle with my good old friend depression. This has been ongoing for a few days. Yesterday I hit my breaking point and allowed myself to break down while in the bath last night. Everything built up to the boiling point. Being a person who doesn't grant herself permission to have any offensive emotions, means that I take and take until I eventually break. Unfortunately, the price it comes at is that my family suffers at the brunt of my boiling. This is not at all my intention, I am fully aware as to how messed up and abnormal this is, esp being a female. They are usually in tune and rather verbal with their emotions.

So much doubt, stress and pressure, Of course they are all self inflicted. That's how I roll. Physically and emotionally drains a person, being in constant turmoil. Takes the smallest issues to snap, as I am hovering on the edge of anyway.

This surely confirms everyone's suspicions, I am abnormal! Not even sure if this is a good or bad thing, but this is who I am. It could possibly also explain why I view people and life so differently. I surely am a unique specimen.

One day when I am a big girl, who knows, I might change. Might grow up, and feel comfortable dealing with this "emotion situation" thing. For now, I would simple be happy not having to deal with any of it, That is just easier for me.

It certainly doesn't help that I find myself surrounded by people who are completely obsessed with the sound of their own voices and and problems. They ask how I am doing, yet before I even take the breathe to respond they're already on a full on rampage about their unimportant crap.

One person, so many complications, Yes, I multitask too!

Poor Barry, the kids and my family. They must all be saints. I for one would be done with this. All this crazy, and no knowledge on how to deal with this bubbling insanity. I am amazed they if they haven't regularly considered tossing me into the loony bin, ( I heard you receive a free bag of oranges for every nut-head you bring in).

If you do or have ever found yourself in this scenario, you're not alone. We wackos need to stick together!!!!

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