Anti Body Shaming from a Skinny Girl

The life of any woman is not an easy one. We endure so many issues and obstacles throughout our lives. Always being judged and criticized on how we behave and how we look. We follow silly trends and listen to foolish critiques. No one is safe from body shaming, both male and female go through this. It's easy to look at someone and judge them on their appearance, instead look inward and start loving yourself. People who love themselves have no need to pick at other's insecurities. We're all beautiful and unique in our own right. Just accept and respect the next person, regardless of your opinions.  

I don't have time for any form of body shaming. Why should we all look alike? We are individuals. So it makes no sense attacking someone on their appearance. Our grandparents, parents, siblings are all beautiful. Let's embrace and celebrate that.
Being the mother to 2 beautiful girls and a son, makes this an important topic to me.
My son is a teenager, so he is obviously going through the searching for his identity phase. He doesn't need foolish people mocking his appearance.
Then there is my 6 year old daughter. Who attends school, so she gets hurtful comments from her peers. I have heard adults mutter under their breathe that she is chubby (fat). I choose not to react to those comments because I don't want her to be aware of them. She has mentioned that people call her fat. Of course I went to the school to find the culprits and resolve it. What kind of person says such horrible words to a child?
Fortunately the last one is only a baby. Thankfully there have not been negative comments (as far as I know). I do want to protect her from any and all harm. Life will be better as soon as people learn to love others.

Having been skinny all my life. Throughout my childhood as well as a majority of my adult life, I've had to tolerate silly comments. A lot of people have told me that I have some form of eating disorder or the other. I have even been compared to people in Ethiopia. Having Children, brought comments about how, "you're so lucky, you just shot back". People mocked me. I was put down because I didn't have the 'perfect' body. I lack 'curves'. For a very long time I felt unworthy and not easy on the eye. Recently I have realized there is nothing wrong with me. I am no better nor am I worse than anyone else. I still admire many other women and there appearance. Difference is now I don't feel the need to compare myself to any of them. I can appreciate their beauty as well as my own.

People who have known me all my life will tell you, I've not been known to have the healthiest lifestyle. Recently I have started eating healthier, as well as trying to workout often too. It's not easy, especially when you have a household that depends on you. I do my best with the time I get. With healthier habits you can start to see change happen within your body, depending on your goals. After all, it's more important to be healthy and happy regardless of shape.

Go on, live your life, be happy, love others. Life is meant to be enjoyed. So let's do that with all our hearts. 

15 Uses For Baking Soda

For some time now I have been using baking soda; also known as sodium bicarbonate, as a cleaning and beauty product, as well as an all round health and wellness product. I use it in every area in my life and it works wonders. Works fast and no harmful chemicals. These have been tried and tested by myself. With baking soda I am at peace knowing I am giving my family the best. They are in a clean environment without the use of poisonous products. 

1. Washing household clothing - White clothing is whiter, colors are brighter. Protects and cleans baby clothing too. For extra dirty whites I add some vinegar to the wash.
2. Cleaning and freshen carpets and couches - Since using baking soda, it's quick and easy. I add some fabric softener to add fragrance.
3. Oven - Looks brand new. Without using too much elbow grease. For very bad ovens use vinegar in addition.
4. Teeth whitening and freshen your breath - Why spend unnecessary money at the dentist when you simply make a paste with lemon juice and coconut oil. Use regularly with your usually toothpaste. you will definitely start seeing results in no time.
5. To exfoliate face, lips and body - I use coconut oil to make this paste. apply this once or twice a week depending on my need.
6. Lighten pigmentation - After the birth of my daughters my skin couldn't decide on one color so I ended up with a two toned face. Found this recipe online and it's worked wonders. 
7. Clean counters and tiles - With dish-wash soap. If need be I will add vinegar to this too, but works just as well without.
8. Neutralize bad odors - So many bad smells in our homes from shoes to fridge. As much as we clean up some smells can't be avoided. That's where baking soda comes in handy. 
9. Clean stained nails - Wearing nail polish all the time come at a price. By soaking it in baking soda clears that right up. 
10. Cleaning kettle, microwave, and fridge - This is something that really grosses me out. These are items we use daily. So it's vital that they are clean. The kettle I boil few times with some lemon juice, afterward I rinse it. Boil boil it some more with clean water. The microwave, I also sometimes add some lemon juice as well. I add vinegar in water with the fridge and clean it out. Also keeping some bicarb in the fridge helps with bad smells. 
11. Heartburn relief - This one saved me numerous times during my pregnancy, Its an amazing antacid when you need something urgent. Also helps constipation.
12. Cleaning brushes - Brushes often need a deep clean. So a good soak and comb out does the job. 
13. Cleaning blocked drains - Often things wash down the drain. So they need to get cleaned. Adding salt before lemon juice. Let sit for 5 minutes, then throw boiling water over. 
14. Clean and freshen dustbins - I throw some baking soda directly into the bin then add handy andy and start washing and dry. Finally allow to air dry completely. 
15. Hair cleanser - Add a teaspoon to shampoo to lift any residue remaining in your hair.

Dealing with Death/ Loss

The loss of a loved one is difficult for everyone. Each person will process their feelings different. It does by no means mean that the person has no feelings. Men, women and children we are all different and unique.
Death hits each person differently. I have recently lost my grandmother. I say grandmother because that is who she is biologically. Yet she was (is) so much more. She was my mother, best friend, life, rock, anchor. I feel lost and am unsure how to deal with the internal turmoil I currently am undergoing.

I have felt alone many times in my life, even though I have always had her. I knew that regardless what was happening in my life. I always had her. Even when I didn't see her often. We were just the perfect pair.
She was the person who simply understood me without trying. Raising me from birth, I guess, bonded us closely. She could read me with complete ease where (even today) many people are confused by my actions and intentions. She was the one person who didn't try to "fix" me. She saw me as perfect. When others pointed out my flaws she always reminded me I am perfect for her, so why care what others say, think and feel!

I am not sure how I should feel. For the most part I simply feel numb. I feel other emotions too. All my emotion feel heightened. Constantly feel like I am on edge. I am drowning and no one understands, knows or even cares. This is the best way I know to get some of what I am feeling off my chest. I feel as if people are constantly looking at me and judging me.

Having a SO and children adds to my difficulty. As I feel I need to be on the ball 24/7. They don't understand how I feel nor do I expect them too. I do though wish they would give me a break. I am doing the best I can. Obviously having trouble eating and sleeping is going to add to my stress. I am barely functioning.

Unfortunately, life will not pause or stop for my benefit until I catch up. So I will have to keep keeping on. I am exhausted and completely run down.

WAIT... There's more,
Also dealing with terrible toothache. Usually with any aches, pains and qualms I may have, I usually contact my best friend. Now I dread all and any daily activity.

Well, time to ends this blog.
I love you Mommy. Thank you for the amazing woman you have been in my life. My inspiration, my Hero. You have taught me many valuable life lessons. I appreciate all you have done for me and apologize for all the agony I caused you.

RIP!

I LOVE YOU!

Year End South Africa

We have survived Christmas. Every year this is a stressful time to many around the globe. Running mad, Looking for ideal gifts. Preparing for the end of one year and the beginning of another. This year has been testing for many South Africans.

All South Africans have united against the current ruling party. Some may be under the illusion the apartheid was our greatest battle. No it is Jacob Zuma! Many have finally hit the realization that the current president is not working out so well (better late than never I suppose). In 1994 one man set South Africa free. Now another man will try to break us. Yes unfortunately the current president is incapable of basic math skills, but the rest of us aren't too shabby so we're counting down.

Our police force is so corrupt its not even funny. We fear them more than we fear the criminals. The one thing they're good at, is lazing about. Calling them in any emergency means giving up. I have tried to get assistance from them numerous times. I am still waiting...

We still have our amazing sense of humor. After all produced "The Laughing President"!

From the whole Oscar Pistorius situation to Trevor Noah making us proud by hosting The Daily Show. Funny enough, Trevor Noah pointed out that Oscar Pistorius has put all South Africans on equal footing. Now crime is no longer a 'black thing', every race is capable of crime. Personally I feel some one that walks/runs on Blades would be the capable of murder. Imagine the damage he could do if he did karate...

This had been the year of marching. From people who were unhappy with their jobs and pay, to being fed up with the running of the country. With a government that has been playing us like a board game.

We have learnt how to deal with both water and power outages. Bring on the Apocalypse. We've got this.  You name it, we can handle it. We're natural survivors.
We have gased up out homes. and we're kicking it and making fires. We know how to rough it out.

We have for some reason been trying to Americanize our country. Got Burger king, Krispy Kreme, and now there is talk of a Star Bucks popping up. The lingo has changed drastically in South Africa. Dress codes have changed. We seem to be losing all that makes us South African. 

Every time America drops off another one of their famous stores on our shores, South Africans line up to get some of the American experience. Don't get get me wrong I am in love with Krispy Kreme. 

It's just sad that when speaking to many South Africans about voting at the next Elections, they point blank refuse to participate. They feel that standing in a queue is a waste of their precious time. Lets hope with all the practice they have had with lining up for food, they will happily line up to set things right in our home land.

We are ready for you 2016. You CAN NOT bring a South African down!

#ZumaMustFall

The latest in South Africa is the "Zuma must fall" march. As South Africans we have had just about enough of these government employees getting a free ride. At the end of the day it is their job to negotiate better conditions for the rest of the country not fill their own pockets, and providing cushy lifestyles for their families at our expense. While the rest of the country is simply trying to make ends meet. These people seem to think they are untouchable, that we will continue to sit quietly in a corner and be quiet. I am glad people are now taking a stand.

                                               

This country went through an exciting change on the 10 of May 1994. When Nelson Mandela was elected the first black president. Every race and age united as we welcomed a new age for our country. The name Nelson Mandela is renown worldwide for all that he has accomplished in his lifetime, and for our country. He was jointly awarded the Nobel Prize with FW De Klerk for the new democratic South Africa in 1993. He had such big dreams for this country and the people of this country. He would be disgusted to see how far it has fallen.

                                   

Now once again the country has been united in the removal of current president Jacob Zuma. On the 16 December 2015 South Africans from all walks of life united once again to march against President Zuma, people have now reached the point of 'enough'. The #ZumaMustFall march. We've been through so much as a country. There is no reason we have to put up with a president who can't take anything serious. He laughs everything everything off, this is clearly all one big joke to him. This joke is on us.
 No South African can truly mean when they say "Life was simpler, during the apartheid". Though people are being pushed to resent the current ruling party, the ANC. They are just buggering everything up.
This is the same man who believes AIDS can be washed away by a hot shower.
Here is an article about the sex and AIDS issue.
http://sbeta.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/zuma-stands-his-ground-on-shower-comment-277106

He is a complete joke! Does this man honestly see nothing wrong with standing in front of millions (billions, trillions and one) and making a complete fool of himself.

Our Very Own Wrecking Ball!

God alone knows what reason they have changing the street names. We're left baffled. Not even navigation tools know where to send us anymore. Type in "Albertina Susulu", you will get ten options in completely different areas. What's the purpose of this beside messing with our heads. Its bad enough my internal navigation is wonky, just stop already!

Light and water shortages, WOW. Don't get me wrong I do understand they are not completely accountable for the water situation. Yet if they made a plan with all the border jumpers it would help. How can we feed others, when our own countrymen don't have sufficient supplies. Let me not get started on the squatters (informal settlements). Good grief, I have seen squatters (informal settlements) with cars, Satellite TV, etc. So how much suffering could they be enduring?

https://youtu.be/kJ8soh2C_bA

Even the children are complaining.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ3v1VbBS7Y


Mandela fought for the people of South Africa's freedom, it is time for us now to take a stand a fight for ourselves. Don't allow government to bully us.
FYI the rest of us can read, write and count!

Yo-yo people...

People in general amaze me. Lately I have realized most people are like yo-yo's. Now they're up, then they're down. They can't seem to decide what level they are on. It is very annoying because the rest of us can't be too sure where we stand!

Personally I find it easier to avoid switching. When I choose to befriend someone, That's it! I will be loyal until the very end and no matter what I expect that loyalty to be returned. If it is not returned I will immediately withdraw my friendship without a second glance back. I feel it makes everyone's lives less complicated, Especially mine!

I guess that's why so many people are drawn to Facebook, "It's complicated!"
Nothing in life is complicated. People CHOOSE to complicate life. More interested in being fake and putting up a front. When anything happens in their lives, they quickly  run to social media to upload a post. No one cares that your toddler has "passed" preschool. WOW, what an achievement! I would be interested if anyone could possibly fail...
Why would anyone feel the need to advertise every aspect of their personal lives. I feel the only people who deserve to know more detailed information about your life is the people who interact with you often, Not necessarily daily.

I don't get the logic in posting pictures sitting at work. Who has time to take pictures when you are at work? Most people go and do their jobs. Not to Take A Selfie. How sad and pathetic your life must be that you need a job to brag about! I mean, really now, so many people are truly desperate for work. While other idiots decide, " Hey I'm bored, I need a job". Then those are the very same ones who can't grasp basic English! I'm no genius, yet I can make a basic sentence.

I give my best to others, then they can still return around and bad mouth me. Quite frankly, I'm so over it! So now I focus on me and mine. At this point those people who hurt and offend me should be grateful I ignore them instead of telling them how I truly feel. It would definitely provide relief for my own spirit, not so much for them.

How about these 'parents' who brag about their offspring, yet they are too busy/tired to deal with them. I see the parents are kitted up, looking fly. While the children look like they've escaped an orphanage. I simple don't get it. I would sacrifice myself for my children in a heart beat, whether it's food or clothing. How do you have children, yet feel that your partner outranks them! Those poor kids, I can't imagine anything worse than being maybe second in my own moms eyes! I imagine that would be the ultimate rejection.

  

Crushed spirit

Funny how people view each other. No one stops and thinks how their actions and/or words affect others. They don't realize just how easy it can be to break someone's spirit. Especially when that person is already at breaking point. They assume things are all hunky dory with that person simply because they happen not to be whinny cows. I realize now how messed up life can be. Even if you give your all to people they will turn around and utterly crush you, as if your nothing.

We're all different, I get that, How do you expect people to believe you care about them, when you can't be bothered by how they feel. Why are people amused by others failures and fears. Don't act like you're immune. We all feel pain. Which I suppose is a good thing. It is a reminder that we are alive, but how alive can you be when you feel numb for the most part of life. It is easy to tune out feelings, esp when majority of them are completely crushing to the person experiencing those feelings.

I don't remember when last I sang from the pit of my stomach, danced until my body ached, Laughed until my face and stomach hurt.

I guess I am now getting tired of the weight I am constantly carrying. Tried speaking to people they were kind enough to point out I am always negative. Obviously that's what it is. My negativity! Has nothing to do with when I do for others I'm wonderful. Then when things are good in their lives, they reject me. Has nothing to do with how people laugh at me or belittle me. No. It's clearly all me, as I control how others perceive and respond to me.

For years I've been told I am too hard. I need to let go. Open up. Allow people in. So far all I have received from that, is heartbreak.
The strangest part about all of this is how those very people can turn around and remind me how they are hurting. Silly of me to think I would or should matter.

Oh... let's not forget how "I need to learn to be selfish, stop putting others ahead of myself". Funny, some of those "caring" people don't take time out from their busy lives to stop and attempt to connect to me. Check in whether I am okay? Well... can't blame them, They've got their own problems. Why would I matter when it does not benefit them?

One thing I am certain of, is that I am tired. Often I am convinced that no longer existing would be better than living broken.
All I have in this world is my family and my kids. They need me. So I keep quiet an go on.
Living a life where you only exist is a complete waste. I need to figure this out. For mine and my children's sake.